What War Taught Me About Family Separation - and What Child Welfare Refuses to Learn

In 1990, after graduating from high school, I was evacuated out of Liberia with my mother due to the civil war. We left my father and six younger siblings behind in Paynesville, a suburb of Monrovia. Rebel soldiers advanced to the backyard of our home. For 21 days, my family was caught in the crossfire, and my mother and I had no communication with them.

It was a nightmare.

Eventually, through a shortwave radio and the help of a missionary in Sierra Leone, the U.S. government sent Marines to rescue them. But the soldiers couldn’t get to our house, so my father and siblings had to walk through a warzone to meet them.

In 1996, I was evacuated again. This time, I was with my siblings. And while the trauma of war remained, being together made all the difference.

This is my story.

And it’s also a mirror, a reflection of what happens to families right here in the United States every day under the name of child welfare.

Different Circumstances, Same Suffering

People often look at countries like Liberia and focus on the trauma of war, the chaos, the displacement. But here’s what I see: our government does the same thing in America when it tears families apart. The trauma may not be caused by civil war, but the suffering is eerily similar.

The child welfare system uses its power to forcibly remove children from their parents, just like I was separated from my siblings. These children are often placed with strangers, stripped from their community, their culture, and everything they know. Siblings are split up. Families are erased. And all of it is done in the name of safety.

Let’s be honest. This isn’t safety. It’s state-sanctioned separation. And it’s causing a level of trauma that mirrors the effects of war.

Trauma Is Easier When You're Not Alone

There’s one thing I know for sure: the second evacuation was still traumatic, but it was easier. Why? Because I was with my siblings. I didn’t have to endure that pain in isolation.

That’s the part the child welfare system refuses to understand. Families will go through hard times. That’s a fact. But tearing them apart doesn’t solve the problem, it deepens the wound.

What families need in moments of crisis is support, not separation. They need to be wrapped in care, not ripped apart. Just as no one would think to help a war-torn family by separating the children from their parents, we should stop pretending that forced removals in America are about protection.

A System That Adds to the Pain

The child welfare system is a government machine that multiplies trauma under the illusion of intervention. It separates children not because of what’s best for them, but because it holds power over poor families, especially Black and Brown ones. It polices poverty. It criminalizes struggle. And it ignores the science that tells us time and time again: children heal better when they are with their families.

We need to build a system that allows families to work through pain together, not apart. Because trauma is inevitable, but how we respond determines whether it becomes a scar or a wound that never heals.

I’ve lived through war. I’ve lived through separation. And I’ve lived through the child welfare system. I know what suffering looks like on both sides of the ocean.

Different circumstances. Same pain.

It’s time we stop pretending these are separate issues. And it’s time we ask ourselves: What kind of nation separates families in crisis instead of holding them together?